The State of Black Sci-Fi 2012: Grand Finale | Nicole D. Sconiers

All good things must come to an end, and that includes the seven-week blog tour exploring the state of black science fiction in 2012. I have to thank the brilliant Alicia McCalla for coordinating the blog carnival and inviting me to participate in such a spectacular online event. It was a pleasure reading the work of my fellow scribes as we grappled with questions of race and injustice in sci-fi and speculative fiction and paid tribute to our literary [super] heroes.

To celebrate our final post, each member was asked to write a short piece using the prompt of a bracelet. My short story is below, and I encourage readers to check out the offerings of other members. I?d like to thank everyone who participated in the weekly discussions ? whether on Twitter, Facebook or on the blog. The winner of a signed copy of Escape from Beckyville and an Escape from Beckyville T-shirt is L.M. Davis.

The Scarlet Bracelet
by Nicole D. Sconiers

Of all the things Jemory remembered about the body hanging from the tree, those yellow baby doll shoes haunted her the most. They were patent leather and newly polished, as if the dead woman had been on her way to a dance. From where Jemory stood at the edge of the crowd that day, she couldn?t make out the woman?s features. Her sleek black wig was askew, caressing her broken neck. Jemory wore a similar wig. The only adornment on the woman?s lifeless arm was a thin red bracelet, the size of a hospital wrist band. The mark of an outlaw.

Now as Jemory let herself into her apartment, locking and bolting the front door, she unpinned her wig as she headed to the bathroom. Her scalp itched. She longed to scratch it, to knead the knotty tendrils. Dropping the wig on the sink, she undid the braid that circled her head like a bristly crown. Several strands caught on her scarlet bracelet, and she yanked it free. She removed a small unmarked jar from the breast pocket of her jacket. Unscrewing the cap, she scooped out a dollop of pale yellow paste and massaged it into her hair. She bought the shea butter for $100 from a gap-toothed Nigerian man on Crenshaw who sold it on the black market. It was pure, unlike the chemically enhanced stuff the salons and beauty supply stores used to sell before they were shut down. She watched as he kneeled by a wooden table in his kitchen, spoke a few words in Arabic and pounded the nuts with a mortar and pestle. The constant thwok-thwok-thwok sound of shells being crushed was somehow comforting. Finally, he rose to roast the kernels in a large metal pot. It was such an intensive process for so small a bounty.

But it makes my hair feel alive, Jemory thought as she rinsed her greasy hands in the sink. She refused to weigh down her coils with the white B-9 Kreme that black women were required by law to use to permanently straighten their hair. She heard that the smelly stuff caused uterine tumors, that constant application caused the wearer to go mad. Indeed, she saw many blank-faced women stumbling through the streets of Los Angeles, their eyes as deadened as their long flowing locks.

I?ll have to take my chances. Jemory?s real hair was growing longer now ? stronger ? and soon it would be impossible to hide beneath her wig. Maybe that?s what gave away the stranger with the baby doll shoes. A woman who loved her unprocessed hair enough to risk public execution was dangerous indeed. Jemory knew of several black women who hid their fugitive locks beneath hair pieces and extensions to fool the Tuft Force or T4 as they were called. The enforcers were known to pick random women off the street, especially those wearing red bracelets, and yank their hair to see if they had submitted to the caustic silkiness of B-9 Kreme or if they dared defy the decree. Woe to the ones with woolly strands.

Jemory fingered her bracelet. It was locked and would emit radio waves if the wearer attempted to break it, alerting T4. The red wristbands were etched with serial numbers indicating women who once wore afros and kinky twisted styles and dreadlocks in public before the purges. She was serial number JF-28094579. An inmate who would never know the smell of true freedom, as smoky as raw shea butter, as yellow as baby doll shoes swaying in the wind.

Catch up on the discussion:

Week 1
Week 2
Week 3
Week 4
Week 5
Week 6

Check out other participating members of this seven-week blog carnival:

Winston Blakely, Artist/Writer ? is a Fine Arts/Comic Book artist, having a career spanning 20 years, whose achievements have included working for Valiant Comics and Rich Buckler?s Visage Studios. He is also the creator of Little Miss Strange, the world?s first black alien sorceress and the all-genre anthology entitled Immortal Fantasy. Both graphic albums are available at Amazon, Barnes and Nobles and other online book store outlets. Visit him at : http://blakelyworks.blogspot.com or http://blakelyworkstudio.weebly.com.

L. M. Davis, Author ? began her love affair with fantasy in the second grade. Her first novel, Interlopers: A Shifters Novel, was released in 2010, and the follow-up Posers: A Shifters Novel will be released this spring. For more information visit her blog http://shiftersseries.wordpress.com or her website www.shiftersnovelseries.com.

Milton Davis, Author ? Milton Davis is owner/publisher of MVmedia, LLC . As an author he specializes in science fiction and fantasy and is the author of Meji Book One, Meji Book Two and Changa?s Safari. Visit him at: www.mvmediaatl.com/Wagadu and www.wagadu.ning.com.

Ja Ja (DjaDja) N Medjay , Author ? DjaDja Medjay is the author of The Renpet Sci-Fi Series. Shiatsu Practitioner. Holistic AfroFuturistic Rising in Excellence. Transmissions from The Future Earth can be found at: www.renpetscifi.com, on Facebook www.facebook.com/RenpetSciFiNovel or on Twitter https://twitter.com/#!/Khonsugo.

Margaret Fieland, Author ? lives and writes in the suburbs west of Boston, MA with her partner and five dogs. She is one of the Poetic Muselings. Their poetry anthology, Lifelines http://tinyurl.com/LifelinesPoetry is available from Amazon.com Her book, Relocated, will be available from MuseItUp Publishing in July, 2012. The Angry Little Boy will be published by 4RV publishing in early 2013. You may visit her website, http://www.margaretfieland.com.

Valjeanne Jeffers, Author ? is an editor and the author of the SF/fantasy novels: Immortal, Immortal II: The Time of Legend and Immortal III: Stealer of Souls. Her fourth and fifth novels: Immortal IV: Collision of Worlds and The Switch: Clockwork will be released this spring. Visit her at: http://valjeanne.wordpress.com and http://qandvaffordableediting.blogspot.com.

Thaddeus Howze, Author ? is a veteran of the Information Technology and Communications industry with over twenty-six years of experience. His expertise is in re-engineering IT environments using process-oriented management techniques. In English, that means he studies the needs of his clients and configures their offices to optimize the use of information technology in their environment. Visit him at: http://ebonstorm.wordpress.com or http://ebonstorm.weebly.com.

Alicia McCalla, Author ? writes for both young adults and adults with her brand of multicultural science fiction, urban fantasy and futurism. Her debut novel, Breaking Free will be available February 1, 2012. The Breaking Free theme song created by Asante McCalla is available for immediate download on iTunes and Amazon. Visit her at: http://www.aliciamccalla.com.

Carole McDonnell, Author ? writes Christian, speculative fiction, and multicultural stories. Her first novel is Wind Follower. Her short fiction has appeared in many anthologies and have been collected in an ebook, Spirit Fruit: Collected Speculative Fiction. Visit Carole: http://carolemcdonnell.blogspot.com or http://writersofcolorblogtour.blogspot.com.

Balogun Ojetade, Author? of the bestselling Afrikan Martial Arts: Discovering the Warrior Within (non-fiction), Moses: The Chronicles of Harriet Tubman (Steampunk) and the feature film, A Single Link. Visit him at: http://chroniclesofharriet.wordpress.com.

Rasheedah Phillips, Author ? is the creator of The AfroFuturist Affair in Philly. She plans to debut her first spec/sci-fic novel Recurrence Plot in Spring 2012. You may catch her ruminating from time to time on her blog, AstroMythoLosophy.com.

Nicole Sconiers, Author ? is an author and screenwriter living in the sunny jungle of L.A. She holds an MFA in creative writing from Antioch University Los Angeles, and she recently published Escape from Beckyville: Tales of Race, Hair and Rage. Visit her at: http://nicolesconiers.com and http://www.nicolesconiers.com/blog.

Jarvis Sheffield, M.Ed. ? is owner and operator of TheDigitalBrothers.com, BlackScienceFictionSociety.com and BlackCommunityEntertainment.com. Visit him at: http://www.blacksciencefictionsociety.com/profiles/blog/list?user=2stjwb1h216fd.

Source: http://nicolesconiers.com/blog/2012/02/27/the-state-of-black-sci-fi-2012-grand-finale/

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Utah pushes kid database in bid to end child ID theft

Victims of child identity theft and their parents are left with an obvious question when they discover the crime: Why would anyone grant credit to a child?

The answer, for those who find it, is perhaps even more infuriating: Creditors often have no way to know an applicant is a child. Lenders, for example, usually have no idea how old the rightful holder of a Social Security number is. The nation's credit bureaus often don't know either.?

A new Child Identity Protection program implemented by the Utah state attorney general's office and the credit bureau Trans Union may be able to change that.

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Believed to the first system of its kind, Utah parents can now register their children with the state agency, which will then pass the data along to Trans Union.? In turn, the credit bureau will place the child's SSN in a "high risk" database that warns potential lenders not to issue credit to applicants using that number.

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"For the first time, parents can proactively protect their children from being victims of identity theft," said Richard Hamp, the assistant attorney general for Utah who helped create the program. "We're really excited about it."

The program is currently open only to parents in Utah, but both Utah authorities and Trans Union are already in talks with other states to make it available nationwide.

Prior to Utah's Child Identity Protection program, concerned parents couldn't do much to protect their kids' credit until after they suspected their kids' identities were stolen. Even then, the available options were often frustrating. Parents could ask a credit bureau if there was an open credit file using their kids' personal information and request that it be closed and the erroneous information expunged. If no credit file existed, they would receive an unsatisfying "no file" response, and be left to wonder if a criminal would open one in the future.?

Hard data on the incidence of child identity is hard to come by, because the crime can go undetected for a decade or more ? until the child turns 17 and applies for credit or a college loan. But there are plenty of indications the crime is on the rise. A study released by fraud-fighting firm ID Analytics in 2011 found that 140,000 kids each year are hit by the fraud; another 500,000 sets of parents and children are "inappropriately sharing" Social Security numbers, hinting at an even more widespread problem, ID Analytics found.

Hamp was an early advocate of credit freeze laws passed by dozens of states that forced the nation's credit bureaus to offer identity theft victims to "lock" their credit reports from any applications for credit. Seeing the rise in fraud against kids, Hamp began working on legislation that would require the credit bureaus to let parents lock their children's Social Security numbers about two years ago.

"But Trans Union called and said they'd work with us on a voluntary basis. You don't need to legislate," he said. "I took them up on it."

Utah already had a leg up in creation of this kind of system, having launched its Identity Theft Reporting System website several years ago. Victims use the system, known as IRIS, to report the crime, and it includes a robust authentication system using various state databases, such as driver's license records. Hamp agreed to use IRIS to authenticate parents who wish to enroll children in an anti-ID theft program. That made Trans Union's part of the work much easier.

After Utah verifies the identity of the parent and collects a child's personal information, state authorities send the child's SSN and age to the credit bureau. Trans Union then places the information in its "high risk fraud database." If a child ID thief tries to use a kid's SSN while applying for credit, the lender gets a pre-programmed warning message.

"Initially I wanted a message that said, 'This number belongs to a kid,' but this allowed them to tap into a system they already had and get it done quickly," Hamp said.

Trans Union and Utah officials held a launch ceremony for the system in late January.

"We do recommend every parent enroll their children," said Steven Katz, senior director of consumer operations for Trans Union. "There is no downside to it."

Enrollment is free. Kids are automatically removed from the high-risk database on their 17th birthday, he said. Trans Union has agreed that none of the information entered into the system will be used for marketing purposes.

"The intention of this program is to assist parents and guardians in preventing ID theft among children, and that?s all the data will be used for," he said. Trans Union will consider sharing the data with the nation?s other credit bureaus, he said, much as the bureaus share fraud alert information now.

Parents who worry that Trans Union might misuse the data shouldn't allow that to keep them from using the program because "they don't give their kids' data to Trans Union, they give the data to us," Hamp said. "We retain all rights to the data."

The program isn't perfect, however. ID theft expert Linda Foley, who runs IDTheftInfoSource.com, said she's worried that the system only stops credit-based ID theft.? It's powerless to prevent creation of fake driving licenses, for example. Such a system risks "giving parents a false sense of security," she said.

Also, because so much of child identity theft is committed by parents, there's a fundamental flaw in the way the program is set up, she said.

"Since parents enroll kids, those stealing from their kids will not be interested in this opportunity. It needs to cover all children," she said.

Still, Hamp believes the Child Identity Protection system is a big step in the right direction, and he's urging all parents to consider it. Already, about 1,000 children have been registered, Hamp said. He plans on bumping up participation by partnering with school districts students can be registered en masse.

"I'm really excited about this," he said. "Instead of having to fight Trans Union, we came up with a mutually acceptable resolution. Is it perfect? No. Are there still going to be problems? Yes. But it's the best thing available for parents to protect their kids."

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Source: http://redtape.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/02/28/10521033-register-your-kids-to-stop-child-id-theft-utah-officials-say-sign-em-up

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Weird News: Social Science Experiments May Lead to a Happier ...

February 27, 2012 9:01 am admin Reference and Education

marriage, weird news, social sciences

Someone once said that science isn?t concerned with the ways of the heart. That isn?t true when it comes to some new experiments in the field of social science. Scientists are exploring what makes a happy marriage and what can cause stumbling blocks in relationships. The findings of these experiments may lead to less divorce rates, or at least may help you to smooth out some rough patches in an otherwise happy marriage.

Be Old-Fashioned, Be Happy

Some researchers at the University of Queensland have an interesting theory. They believe that the key to a happy marriage may be old-fashioned relationship techniques. No, they don?t mean the male-dominated relationships of Western cultures. The relationships they are interested in are considered the more traditional Chinese unions where the couple work together to take care of the family and supporting each other instead of employing romantic ideals of how a relationship should be.

To support their theory, the researchers point to the fact that there are far less divorces in China than in other countries that look for romantic ideals such as passion in their marriages. One major difference in Chinese and Westerner relationships is that Westerners tend to air their feelings openly, while the Chinese try to keep the peace. There is no conclusive evidence yet, and research is still ongoing, but researchers hope that their findings can be used in relationship education programs to enlighten married couples on other cultures.

More Money, More Problems

Researchers at Brigham Young University?have found that rapper Notorious BIG was right. More money does equal more problems. In their research Brigham Young University?academics found that couples that don?t place a high importance on material objects tend to have more stable marriages. While couples who admitted to being more materialistic had more money, they also had much more conflicts about money than the other couples. This could indicate that couples who tend to like material items could help their marriage by simplifying their lifestyles.

Haters Keep Hating, Lovers Keep Loving

New research may offer a look into your marriage?s future. If you fight, you?ll keep fighting says a study weird news story published in the?Journal of Family Issues by researchers at Ohio and Florida State Universities. In the study, couples conflict patterns tended to stay the same throughout their marriage. This means if you only fight with your spouse every now and then, that?s probably what you can expect throughout the marriage, which is a good thing. On the other hand, if you and your spouse are constantly fighting, don?t expect the rivalry to end any time soon. Don?t fret, though. The research also found that couples that shared decision-making had less conflicts. So, sharing decisions with your hubby may be a way to lessen your conflicts down the line.

Thanks to research, soon the mysteries of what makes a happy marriage may be revealed. Until then, we will have to keep track of the latest medical news and extract information that we can apply to our marriages.

Source: http://www.primalparentingmagazine.com/reference-and-education/weird-news-social-science-experiments-may-lead-to-a-happier-marriage/

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casa180 - Market Ready Real Estate Reports

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Source: http://marketreadyrealestate.com/casa180/

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How To Keep Your Home Based Business Jogging Well | Article ...

If you really find this article helpful Give it a PLUS from below and help us to spread it.

Just like most issues, getting the home business heading is a lot simpler when you start with all the appropriate know-how. The under article provides several pieces of guidance about commencing a house based company.

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There are plenty of home business proprietors congregating on the web. Hang out on numerous internet discussion boards, including people who have practically nothing with regards to your specialized niche. Browsing concerning the happenings of other home business proprietors can help you in many different ways. You can study more information on your company from mentors on these community forums.

In case your home based business needs entertaining customers, for example taking them to lunch time, deduct these expenses through your taxable earnings. The costs of the meetings are legitimate, taxes-deductible enterprise bills. Nevertheless, be sure that these meetings are with prospective or shelling out clients. If not, they arent taxes-deductible.

Strive for a specialist on the web appearance. An unprofessional hunting internet site can quickly lessen any potential for gathering a powerful subscriber base. You can garner some extremely helpful tips about how to build your personal best site by looking at specialist suggestions scattered everything about the Internet.

It might be very simple to turn out to be engulfed by work once you work from your home. Possess a specialized perform space and operate timetable. This will help you to commit your nonworking time with family members.

Reckon about including a links or banner web page for your internet site. This will allow you to swap banner links with various online marketers that you know. This can give a lot of backlinks, that can boost your Search engines page ranking along with supplying the users from the web sites your weblink.

When working at home, you should attempt to become your professional very best. Working at home could be convenient and satisfying, but if you just roll from mattress and initiate operating your individual cleanliness will take a hit. Bath, watch your snack foods and regularly physical exercise daily. This might appear to be lots of operate, nevertheless it will keep you in the market frame of thoughts and improves on your own self-assurance.

Plenty of people want to start up a company. At times, the one thing interfering with your power to really start a home based business is not really obtaining the pertinent details which is way to succeed.

For more information about about being a hire a virtual assistant, kindly visit the webpage, http://www.va-mom.com.

Source: http://www.articlemuseum.com/how-to-keep-your-home-based-business-jogging-well.htm

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Internet Marketing Tips For Dummies

[unable to retrieve full-text content](No Ratings Yet). Loading ... Internet marketing for dummies can help you learn how to become an affiliate marketer. Basically, it is a walk through basic steps in order to have a fair idea about the process of online marketing.

Source: http://www.1directory.net/news-and-society/religion/internet-marketing-tips-for-dummies-8408.html

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Could free-floating 'nomad' planets carry seeds of life in the universe?

A 'nomad' planet of the right mass, with the right atmosphere, and some source of heat ? perhaps radioactive decay or tectonic activity ? could allow for life either on the surface or underground.

Imagine a planet where the night sky is all you have, any time, anywhere you go ? where the phrase ?day job? has no meaning.

Skip to next paragraph

The Milky Way may hold a vast number of such sunless planets ? perhaps up to 100,000 times more than all the stars in the galaxy, according to a new estimate from researchers in the United States and Britain.

Since 1995, when hunting for planets outside the solar system grew from a fringe field to mainstream astronomy, researchers have uncovered as many as 760 extrasolar planets orbiting other stars ? as the Earth orbits the sun ? with more than 2,000 additional candidates awaiting confirmation.

The vast majority of these are planets in the classical sense ? meaning they orbit host stars, although often arrayed in unusual patterns compared with Earth's home system.

Since 2000, however, astronomers have discovered planets with no obvious stellar home. A group of Spanish astronomers reported that year discovering planets ranging from five to 15 times Jupiter's mass free floating?in a cluster of young stars in the constellation Orion. Last year, two groups of astronomers jointly announced the discovery of 10 Jupiter-class planets, the vast majority free of the grip of any host star. The results appeared last May in the journal Nature.

With evidence mounting that these planetary nomads are no observational fluke, ?we were interested in asking the question: Is this just the tip of the iceberg?? says Louis Strigari, a researcher at the Kavli Institute for Particle Astrophysics and Cosmology at Stanford University in Palo Alto, Calif., who led the team making the calculation.

?We were curious about how many of these types of objects could exist,? Dr. Strigari says. The team based its estimate on what researchers have gleaned about the amount of visible matter in the galaxy as well as the abundance of existing chemical elements heavier than hydrogen and helium ? the primordial elements from which the universe evolved following the big bang some 13.8 billion years ago. These heavier elements, forged in thermonuclear furnaces deep in the hearts of stars, provide the building blocks for the gases, ice, and rock that comprise planets.

The team's estimate covers planets with masses ranging from Pluto-like to planets with several times Jupiter's mass.

Stigari cautions that the calculation represents a rough cut at a maximum number of nomads. Too little information is known about these kinds of planets and their formation to allow for more-precise estimates. The estimate has been submitted for publication in the Monthly Notices of the Royal Astronomical Society in Britain.

The ratio of nomads to stars ?is a staggering number, if true,? says Ray Jayawardhana, an astronomer at the University of Toronto who studies the evolution of planets.

?But we have no evidence at all from observations yet that anything close to that number is really out there,? he says. The most one can say from the detection of free-floating planets in clusters of young stars, which typically are several times Jupiter's mass is that the ratio of wanderers to stars is more like one to one, he adds.

But, he notes, the team's estimate also covers far smaller?free-floaters, including mass ranges for which there are yet no observed nomads.

Where do homeless planets come from?

Source: http://rss.csmonitor.com/~r/feeds/csm/~3/MJo7u5PmQxI/Could-free-floating-nomad-planets-carry-seeds-of-life-in-the-universe

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This 1960s Skater Looks Like a Time Traveler From 2012 [Image Cache]

As I was sifting through this excellent LIFE photograph archive of skateboarding in the 1960's, I noticed something a little off. Amidst the flooded dress pants, sweater jackets and generally well dressed people of the 1960's, was this guy. Jeans. Shirt. Shades. Devil may care attitude. He looks like a dude who just shot a Instagram pic, not a guy from the 60's. More »

Source: http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/gizmodo/full/~3/th2GTmwBrDI/time-traveler-found-skateboarding-in-1960s-photograph

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Favorite Pin Friday #Pinterest Party ? Week 7 - Organize With Sandy ...

February 24, 2012 by Sandy ?

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Entryway Landing Stations

I always love these! ?A central place where you can leave your bookbags, coats, shoes etc. and have your family organized for the day.

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I think this one is the most innovative. ?I love when you have the room for the ?locker? feel so that everyone has their own place for their coat and book bag. ?I also like when there is some kind of bench to sit on to take on and off shoes.

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Guidelines

1) Add a link from one of your blog post you want pinned.
2) Be sure to use the picture you want pinned for the picture we see on here.
3) Would love for you to tweet this out, or stumble or pin it. (Only pin my Fav Pin Friday button, not any of the pics I put up from pinterest please.)
4) Be sure to pin a couple other pins you see on here too!
5) Please?click on the pictures, it will take you to my pinterest boards where I pinned these pics. ?Please repin these pictures, as it will help the people who originally posted the picture. Visit their posts to help them out.

If you like the pinterest parties you can go to Kim?s at Crafty Mama of 4. She has Pin it Friday?

If you need some help knowing how to link up, this link party tutorial should help.

Pin It

Source: http://www.organizewithsandy.com/2012/02/24/favorite-pin-friday-pinterest-party-week-7/

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Investing Sensibly In Real Estate | Bar

As Mark Twain said, ?Buy land. They?re not making it anymore.? Land offers a safe investment opportunity due to its limited nature. Real estate enjoys a similar reputation.
Investing shrewdly in real estate is one of the smartest ways of generating income. Though there are the expected downfalls in real estate value during natural market fluctuations and the rare crash, the real estate industry is still one of the safest investment ventures. Examine how much a piece of land cost a few decades ago and how much that same property costs today to understand that real estate can be extremely lucrative. To keep from falling into a financial real estate pit, take the time to understand the nuances of safely investing in real estate ventures.
Iowa Home Builders
Investing in real estate offers a steady growth because its value increases proportionate to inflation. This occurs because rent is firmly connected to the rate of inflation, and real estate income is primarily generated through rent. Whenever home purchases become too expensive, people must rent. This results in a rising demand for ready-built houses that are available for rent. When you consider that mortgage payments remain steady and income from the rented property continues to rise with inflation, it gives a win-win scenario to real estate investors. Naturally, when a mortgage can be acquired for less than the cost of monthly rent, many people will forgo renting in favor of buying, particularly if they have patiently built up a savings account to cover a down payment.
You can start investing in real estate at a low initial cost. Due to the variety of styles and price ranges available, real estate investing is very flexible. Assess first your investing capacity and then choose properties to acquire based on how that money could best be leveraged.
Another advantageous aspect of real estate investment is that real estate investors can obtain financial assistance from banks due to the collateral the real property represents. Nevertheless, putting down as large a down payment as you can afford will lower your monthly payments and overall interest paid, and thus maximize your income when you eventually sell your property. Ideally, pay cash for the property and pocket all rental income and sales proceeds.
You may need to leverage your current assets or otherwise go into debt as you begin your foray into real estate. In addition, you can take out more loans to purchase more real estate. Applying for a loan to invest in property is considered a sound business strategy, due to the assumption that the anticipated appreciation of the property will offset the loan amount. Even so, analyzedthe potential risks of increasing your debt before you make your final decision.
In whatever venture you pursue, real estate being no exception, buy when the cost is low and sell when the price is high. One of the major blunders committed by real estate investors is when they aquire property when prices are already sky-high, assuming they will continue to climb. With the market at an all time high, a slump is bound to occur.
It is far better to buy when the market is struggling. If you buy property when the economy is down, you can be sure that the property is more closely valued at its actual worth and will climb from there This, in turn, will result in more profit from your real estate investment.
In real estate, the potential for stable growth over time, whether due to location or another component, plays an important role in your investment decision. If you purchase such a property, be prepared to keep it until the market increases. Such speculation, however, is riskier than purchasing a fixer-upper to flip or a duplex with a good rental history.
Purchasing a property is typically just the start of an investment in real estate. Development of the property is vital if you wish to increase your income potential, be it via rentals or through the sale of the said property.
Real estate investment has a lot of promise. There will always be a demand for homes. Success in this field depends on the price at which you close real estate deals as well as the location and the condition of the acquisition. If all necessary aspects are in line, you could enjoy a tidy nest egg for your golden years.

This entry was posted in Real Estate by admin. Bookmark the permalink.

Source: http://wobwestchase.com/real-estate/investing-sensibly-in-real-estate/

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Construction and Home Improvement Pack 13 of 19 - Plumbing ...

posted by mrriver92 on 22 February | Views: 51 | Category: E-books

Construction and Home Improvement - Pack 13 of 19 - Plumbing
English | Collection books | PDF | 900 MB

This is my collection of Construction and Home ImprovementKnovel books. Pack 13 of 19.
Collection's description:
This is a library of applied technical books and videos.These books are geared at solving practical issues.Their subjects vary considerably and are geared at solving the most common problems or providing information about the most useful trades. Many of the books are DIY and/or Tips.I used quite a few of them.
Subjects include:
@Basements
@Building Construction
@Carpentry
@Design
@Drywall
@Ductwork
@Electrical
@Fireplaces Stoves and Related
@HVAC
@Insulation and Weatherproofing
@Ligthing
@Masonry
@Miscelaneous
@Plumbing
@Radon
@Regulations and Codes
@Repair and Maintenance
@Roofing
@Steel
@Structural and Framing

These are the contents of the Pack 13 of 19 - Plumbing:
Repair It Yourself - Freeing Clogged Plumbing Lines.pdf
All About Metal-Plumbing Pipefitting Airconditioning Refrigeration Sheet Metal Welding Millwright.pdf
Basic Plumbing Course.pdf
Basic Plumbing.pdf
CDA_Prof_Plumbing_Skills.pdf
Complete plumbing and central heating guide.pdf
Construction - Mechanical Estimating Manual - Sheet Metal, Piping And Plumbing - (Joseph D????Amelio) Fairmount Press Crc Press 2007.pdf
DIY - Home Plumbing Repair.pdf
DIY_Home.Repair.Guide.Basic plumbing.pdf
Drainage And Plumbing.pdf
Engineer course - Plumbing IV - Plumbing Fixtures (2004 edition) EN5113.pdf
Home Repair, Ownership And Diy Fm 3-34.471 20010831 Plumbing Fm 3-34.471 Plumbing, Pipe Fitting, And Sewerage Pdf (17).pdf
Pipes - Using compression connectors in copper plumbing.pdf
Plumbing - Audel Plumber's Pocket Manual, 10th Edition - (Rex Miller, Mark Richard Miller, Joseph Almond) Wiley 2004.pdf
Plumbing - Hot and Cold Water Supply, 2nd Edition - (R.H. Garrett) Blackwell Science 2000.pdf
Plumbing - Install Bathtub.pdf
Plumbing - Norma Vally's Bathroom Fix-Ups - More than 50 Projects for Every Skill Level - (Norma Vally) Wiley 2009.pdf
Plumbing - Plumbing - (Steve Muscroft) Elsevier Newnes 2005.pdf
Plumbing - Plumbing, 2Nd Edition (For Level 2 Technical Certificate And Nvq) - (Steve Muscroft) Elsevier Newnes 2007.pdf
Plumbing - Projects Basic How To.pdf
Plumbing - Water Sypply Design.pdf
Plumbing 1 2 3.pdf
PLUMBING CARE AND REPAIR.pdf
Plumbing Engineering Services Design Guide IOP 2002.pdf
Plumbing Inspector Checklist for CPVC Piping Systems.pdf
Plumbing Part I.avi
Plumbing Part II.avi
Plumbing Part III.avi

Download link:

Links are Interchangeable - No Password - Single Extraction

Source: http://0sec.org/ebooks/328984-construction-and-home-improvement-pack-13-of-19-plumbing.html

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Ohio church offers drive-thru for Ash Wednesday (AP)

[unable to retrieve full-text content]AP - An Ohio church is offering a drive-thru Ash Wednesday blessing for parishioners pressed for time or reluctant to come inside the church for the Lenten observance.

Source: http://us.rd.yahoo.com/dailynews/rss/religion/*http%3A//news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20120222/ap_on_re_us/us_ash_wednesday_drive_thru

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Fake Grass ? COMPUTERS AND TECHNOLOGY

[unable to retrieve full-text content]COMPUTERS AND TECHNOLOGY Only Directory which has Articles Related to COMPUTERS AND TECHNOLOGY · Home · About Us · Privacy Policy · Contact Us. Welcome to article directory. We have 142930 published ...

Source: http://computersandtechnology.us/2012/02/fake-grass/

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Going Through Change Management Training | stirfriedchina.com

[unable to retrieve full-text content]The world and its markets never sleep. This is why it is very important that company executives, directors, CEOs, and employees attend some kind of change.

Source: http://www.stirfriedchina.com/business-finance/other-business/going-through-change-management-training

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Pasta for Picky Eaters: 8 Recipes Kids Can Easily Pick Apart | The ...

There is a middle ground between, "My kids eat the exact same meals we do! P?t? for all!" and "Plain pasta with butter, please." We have found that pasta dishes like the ones listed below?with chunks of healthy, delicious ingredients that can also be separated out, if necessary?are most successful in our house. Everyone eats, and we aren't cooking two meals.

Some kids will pick out the green vegetables or beans and just eat the pasta. Mine does that occasionally, but I've also found that she's more likely to eat the broccoli or chickpeas or what have you if it's in a separate pile. She's not into mixed-up foods.

What I like about these pastas is that most have some sort of sauce or pesto coating the noodles, so if your kid will only eat the pasta, she's getting a little something added in, even if it's just tomatoes. And they all represent a nice, well-balanced meal for her parents.

TOP ROW:
? 1. Pasta with Cauliflower, Sausage, and Breadcrumbs. Chunks of cauliflower and sausage are super simple to pick out of pasta. And both are usually agreeable to a toddler.
? 2. Pasta with Mint Pesto, Peas, and Ricotta Salata. A beautiful, fresh pesto to introduce a new flavor on a familiar turf.
? 3. Orecchiette with Sausage and Kale. Kale can be a tough one, but I find it's more palatable than spinach (weird, I know, but spinach can get slimy or stringy and be hard to swallow for really young kids).
? 4. Rapini with Orecchiette and White Beans. Beans are a great addition to pasta?almost like meat?and are easy for little fingers to grab.
? 5. Cold Peanut Sesame Noodles. The sauce is hearty and the chicken already comes on top, not mixed in.

BOTTOM ROW:
? 6. Edamame & Cauliflower Pasta Salad with Feta. Three good-for-you ingredients that go well together or separately.
? 7. Squash, Bacon, and Goat Cheese Pasta. If goat cheese is a little strong, try cubes of mozzarella. I'd leave the raw basil off of my kid's plate.
? 8. How to Make Meatballs. Meatballs: the easiest thing to pull off a bowl of pasta. And delicious on their own.

Related: 10 Easy Pasta Dishes with Bacon

(Images: See linked posts for full image credits.)

Source: http://www.thekitchn.com/post_3-166315

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Prose, Punch and Lessons: Slam poetry event | Grand Central ...

Jon Goode performs his slam poetry at the Black Family Reunion Food Taster and Slam Poetry Contest at CMU.

Nearly 225 students showed up to be serenaded by poems from their piers while enjoying delicious dishes like fried chicken, sweet potatoes, mac & cheese and cornbread.

CMU?s University Center was jam packed?Monday, February 13?for the Black Family Reunion Food Taster and Slam Poetry Contest with special guest performer Jon Goode, sponsored by Multicultural Academic Student Services and Program Board.

It was a celebration of Black History Month and even more a celebration of the coming together of a community united by all races, religions, orientations, shapes and sizes.

Anyone was eligible to enter the contest and more than a dozen students (14 to be exact), took the stage to share their gift of gab.

Topics included squashing stereo-types, such being black in America with poems like Brittany Wright?s ?Marionette Minions,????I see us all in corporate America with a suit and a briefcase, I see us fulfilling our dreams and meeting our destinies, but that?s only in a perfect world, right now it?s an apocalypse.?

Or what it is that defines a man with performances like Richard Bronson?s , ?I Am a Man!?

Even turning the tide on such taboos about sex in American Culture with Helen Collins?, ?How to Be Sexy.?

There were prizes awarded to the top three contestants decided at the discretion of five judges in the audience. Such prizes included a twenty-five dollar certificate to the CMU bookstore.

Third place was awarded to Shelbie Moore with her poem, ?Citizen,? second place went to Ricahrd Bronson?s, ?I Am a Man!? But the combined efforts of Richard Bronson, Katie Sullivan, Joshua Taylor and Troy Conkright earned the group first?place with their poem, ?Dear Confederate Flag.?

After the contest was over,?Jon Goode closed out the evening to much laughter and applause with a lyrical tirade of poems about growing up, woman and relationships, god and religion.

?Kids will be kids but moms will be moms, you can did what you did and mom?s gonna show you right from wrong.

?But Billy mom let him stay out for an extra few.?

?I don?t give a damn what Billy momma do, I will beat you, I will beat Billy, I will beat Billy momma too!?

That?s how my mom used to do.?

Goode hails from Richmond, Virginia, which is evident in his subtle southern drawl. His poems were as funny as they were inspiring and the veteran poet?s strength lies in his relatable words.

Goode has performed his poems all over the country and has appeared on television on several different occasions. He?s done writing for Nike, Nickelodeon and CNN?s ?Black in America.?

But it was after an appearance on HBO?s ?Def Poetry Jam? that Goode really started to get noticed.

Goode told the tale of the four-year challenge to get on ?Def Jam.? For the first 3-years, he sent the same demo tape to HBO, only to get rejected. They told him he needed to switch his routine to make it more theatrical.

But the next year a lucky break got him noticed by an HBO executive, who asked Goode for another tape. Goode passed along the exact same one he had been sending for the past four years.

Goode was accepted.

He used this anecdote to explain the life lesson of staying true to yourself no matter how hard it is or how long it takes.

Source: http://gcmag.org/prose-punch-and-lessons-slam-poetry-event/

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Boost Your Business With Search Engine Marketing

by CalebJoseph on February 19, 2012

Customers not only seek out good products, but also, quick and efficient customer service. Businesses which provide convenience to their customers usually, never fail to maintain them. A business internet site is one such method by which businesses could improve on this element. Providing answers to common questions (FAQs) and other sales-related details through the website, can reduce the efforts of consumers. Customers also enjoy the availability of on the web forms, quotations, debts and proposals over the internet which saves their particular time. This kind of customer support is possible only when a small business has a website. Internet reputation plays a very crucial part in the improvement of business today. Its a breeze to sit back and search the net for the best layout companies close to Sydney, their particular contact is available online, everything is easy. You should be there and not just be generally there but make a mark for your auto insurance quotes online business too.
Much like your budget, you can even want to advertise. Begin by internet site promotion with the help of Search engine marketing tactics. You can choose posters and advertise online. Email marketing is the one other new strategy which will help your business promotion. Compose a list of prospective clients from a friends and business contacts. Which means that your website be noticed, site submission to different engines like google is important. In case your site is linked to any other site then this step is not needed. You can start posting everything that you want on your website now. In case you plan to sell some services or products on your website, you?ll have to get the system with regard to accepting credit card specifics. The advertisers can also be required. You will have to do a little homework for the same. You can create use of articles named website promotion tips and how to advertise an internet site for website marketing.New to the concept of internet marketing and want to know more on the internet advertising fees? Here we give you a concept of the costs associated with a variety of internet advertising. Read on? In this competitive age, its also insufficient to have a website when an example may be serious to file for online business. However, its really mandatory to have updated along with cutting edge technologies based how do people ensure on the web success. Do not forget that a website may be the only way to obtain online business. A business online is the enterprise where you by no means see as well as talk to your consumers, instead the actual free car insurance rate comparisons website communicates with them. For that reason, it must be designed carefully because design may be the only thing which can make as well as break the potentiality of a web site.
Website design that attracts the visual senses and liked by absolutely free themes would definitely stand more odds of success. If your targeted or the end client does not like the look of the website, they may be less likely to keep to it. Pertaining to creating such designs you?ll be able to take assistance of professional website design services. Take the help of car insurance quotes website design companies in L . a ., Santa Monica, San Jose, Gulf Hollywood, etc. These are a number of famous modems of web site design companies throughout U.Ersus. Instead of using in-office work workers hiring a internet site designer is surely an much cheaper choice.

Tagged as: business, Insurance, marketing, marketinnq

Source: http://www.kscg.org/boost-your-business-with-search-engine-marketing/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=boost-your-business-with-search-engine-marketing

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Explainer: What is the Heartland Institute?

Leaked documents from the Heartland Institute, which seeks to promote global warming skepticism, show an array of unlikely donors.

The climate change debate just got noisier. Leaked internal documents from the Heartland Institute have revealed the Chicago-based think tank's strategies for promulgating skepticism of the belief that humans are warming the planet.

Skip to next paragraph

The documents were acquired through email by an outside source pretending to be a part of the Institute. They were then posted on the DeSmogBlog, a blog that seeks to discredit industry-funded climate skepticism, and their contents have been widely dissected in news reports. But few media outlets go into detail about exactly what the Heartland Institute is.

Founded in 1984 by Chicago investor David H. Padden, the Heartland Institute initially focused on government policies that affected the American Midwest. Now it seeks to influence policies that have an impact on the entire planet.

According to its website?the Heartland Institute promotes laissez-faire economics, stating that its mission is to "discover, develop, and promote free-market solutions to social and economic problems."

Heartland's current CEO is Joseph L. Blast. Its staff of 40 works mostly in its Chicago offices, but the Institute also has 10 employees in Washington, D.C. Its panel of policy advisors, who provide what the Institute calls "Intellectual Ammunition", includes 130 members, most of whom are economics and law professors. Despite its conservative?philosophy, the Heartland Institute says that it "is not affiliated with any political party, business, or foundation."

In reality, the Heartland Institute is an amorphous nexus of different groups and interests with just enough overlap in their ideologies to gather under the banner of a mission statement, but not enough to make the Institute a cohesive special-interest group. At the surface, the institute is composed of economists, businesspeople, politicians, and contrarian scientists.

But Heartland has deeper, less-apparent connections with a number of politically conservative groups, including the Cooler Heads Coalition, the Heritage Foundation and, notably, the influential American Legislative Exchange Council, along with many others. The web of institutional, individual, and corporate ties is endless, which may be why Heartland is so hard to define, and to criticize, compared to, for example, a registered lobbying group.

The Institute boasts what it calls 'a diverse funding base,' which includes roughly 1,600 individuals, foundations, and corporations. Heartland expects to raise $7.7 million this year. In 2006, the Institute stated that only a quarter of its income came from corporate sponsors. That same year, however, the organization said that it would stop?publicly?declaring its funding sources.

The leaked documents revealed current donors, some of whom are surprising. According to the documents, Microsoft donated about $60,000, and the pharmaceutical company GlaxoSmithKlein gave about $50,000. Both of these companies told the New York Times that their contributions were billed for projects unrelated to climate-change policy.?

Curiously, there was a notable absence of funding from publicly traded oil companies, although the privately owned Koch Industries ? a major oil refiner ? was indirectly represented by its co-owner's contribution of $25,000, through his own charity foundation. Perhaps most interesting is the revelation that an anonymous donor gave the institute $4.6 million in 2008, $1.6 million in 2010 and nearly $1 million in 2011. This donor's contributions bring into question Heartland's purported 'diverse funding base.' According to the documents, the donor has promised to give even more in 2012.

Source: http://rss.csmonitor.com/~r/feeds/science/~3/mrvk56V1ssw/Explainer-What-is-the-Heartland-Institute

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Retirement Savings in Drawdown? Keep in mind Equity Publish ...

Posted by RaynerAlita941 on February 20, 2012 under General |

A lot of people are combating this prolonged recession. Researching the news, it doesn?t necessarily expect to be getting any better in some unspecified time in the future. Meanwhile, those who recently retired thinking they had a big enough nest egg or pension to compliment them, have watched the markets slash the value of their total investments and pensions, while aprs keep savings accounts providing insufficient value in any respect. Some individuals just need a dollop of extra help financially, for their own reasons or others with their family. These products should seriously consider home equity release schemes.

What is equity release?
Principle definition of equity release is just finding a way for you to getting money out of an investment. For everyone people, the most important investment they include would be the home, so most plans are mortgages on property assets called lifetime mortgages. These would be under no circumstances standard mortgage, the nature which includes just been paid off big time once retirement has been reached. Rather they are a specialist lifetime mortgage which has specific features for the individuals over 55 yrs of age that they really are limited to.

A lifetime mortgage is principally the same as re-mortgaging your own home. However, the financial adviser who helps you set up the equity release plan features a range of potential options to offer any prospective applicant. Some people like having their equity release loan paid an internet in a single, one-off huge ? just as a traditional mortgage. Others can require the tax free cash to be paid in stages, in lieu of all at once. A less common request is designed for the money to get paid as a regular income.

What can the tax-free cash be used for?
This arrangement is great for somebody wanting to enhance their retirement lifestyle via renovating their own home, build an extension or have a gift on their children. By re-investing funds taken out of your respective property will have a long run positive effect on the last value of a typical property after it is sold. This will be of interest on your children & their inheritance.

Therefore, people viewing a release of equity shouldn?t consider lifetime mortgages to be a poor choice, as although they may be taking cash-out, these are upgrading the property & hopefully adding or helping to retain its value.

What are those preferences?
You can find further choices available to you to any potential applicant when considering equity release schemes. They could now agree to pay the interest on a monthly basis, therefore keeping the size of the equity release loan fixed. This instance is known as a fixed interest only lifetime mortgage, plus a good way of keeping the magnitude of debt under control.

These plans have been given much consideration as additionally there is the flexibleness to settle on how much of the interest you want to pay. Therefore, you could work throughout your own budget.

Another choice for individuals looking to supplement their savings or pensions will be the the release the equity release funds slowly; with the tax free cash being withdrawn in smaller increments to be a wage would. Because of this one additional quantity of funds can be made found at a monthly basis, so it is very easy to supplement pensions or savings and never ought to go back to work or sell a home or office entirely.

In the event you prefer flexibility of when & the amount you withdraw the summoning a drawdown equity release plan could possibly be considered. After taking an initial tranche of cash coming from a facility presented by the financial loan provider, after this you can draw ad-hoc payments from thus reserve whenever required. Therefore, if a new car, boiler or holiday requires payment the funds are accessible inside of a 1-2 week window.

In each of of them examples, the value of our home equity release loan may well be repaid in the event the home is sold; either if downsizing, or if the policy holders move into care. Alternatively, when the inheritance estate is dispersed, the equity release loan would be area of the liability on your value of a typical house.

How is ta lime mortgage repaid?
As soon as the residence is sold, then an equity release plan is repaid. Alternatively, in case a participant in the family wishes to retain ownership of our property, maybe for letting or investment purposes, these will pay back the equity release loan ? possibly via residential or buy-to-let mortgage arrangement.

However, what is crucial is the idea that there are alternatives for all those struggling financially throughout their retirement, when staying on a large family home. Often people feel that financing the domain could be shifting a debt to a higher generation, rather it is involved with a real estate asset ? thus passes on your option of keeping the family home, or selling it in the future. Hopefully, once property values do begin to rise it could have better market values than through the current recession.

www.equityrelease.net In summary, the alternatives that lifetime mortgages present might be very soothing the persons who require more money. They are often helpful throughout their timeliness, they come in and can be completed inside of a relatively short period of time (compared to that of selling a home). They include features which you ll find are more likely to be agreeable and attractive to your over 55?s who are looking for this support too www.equityrelease.net.

Source: http://travel2lithuania.net/retirement-savings-in-drawdown-keep-in-mind-equity-publish/

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Kids With Crohn's Disease, Colitis Often Struggle at School: Study (HealthDay)

[unable to retrieve full-text content]HealthDay - FRIDAY, Feb. 17 (HealthDay News) --
Children with inflammatory bowel disease may have difficulty in school due
to frequent absences that are largely the result of mental struggles such
as depression rather than the disease itself, a new study finds.

Source: http://us.rd.yahoo.com/dailynews/rss/diseases/*http%3A//news.yahoo.com/s/hsn/20120218/hl_hsn/kidswithcrohnsdiseasecolitisoftenstruggleatschoolstudy

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Nagging Attractions and the Strategies of Lesbianism Convention ...

Queer Chick, I would appreciate some sage advice. Or at least a moment of your thyme.

I have been in a relationship with a wonderful woman for the past six years. She's a few years older than me, and while I'm not her first girlfriend, she's mine. I'm also what you'd call a gold star, despite classifying myself as bisexual (we both do. In Kinsean terms, I'm about a 2-3, she's about a 4-5). I got into this relationship when I was just out of my teens, in my final year of college. We moved in together relatively quickly (I know, clich?) and things got serious almost immediately.

We have a lot in common, can talk easily and at length about almost everything, we laugh together, support each other, and have both become part of each other's families. It's a pretty darn solid relationship. The problem here lies in the bedroom. We have a great sex life for the most part, however more and more I have found myself fantasizing about people other than my girlfriend when she's fucking me. "So what?" I hear you say, "Everyone fantasizes" ? the thing is, they're fantasies about men, oftentimes two men together. And sometimes I can't even climax without thinking about it. Having never had the experience of being with a man before getting into this relationship, I have become increasingly heterocurious, wishing I could turn back time and fuck a few good men (maybe not Tom Cruise though) so I at least knew what it was like, and wouldn't be driven crazy by thoughts of it. It's not just the D, either (though that is certainly a factor), as I know I could take the sextoy route to explore that in a way. It's being with a man, the whole man (and nothing but the man? So help me god).

I don't want to cheat on my girlfriend, nor do I want to break her heart by leaving her to satisfy some morbid curiosity, and I know for sure the open relationship/threesome route is a no-go, certainly not this far along in our monogamy. I love this woman, but as things are progressing further and further toward talk of marriage and babies and whatnot, I know I could not in good conscience agree to be with her for the rest of my life unless I knew that's what my heart/vagina really wanted. I can't talk to my friends about this, because I'm afraid if I do they won't support me in this relationship anymore, thinking I'll never be truly happy. I don't know how to talk to my girlfriend about it without crushing her and risking her feeling inadequate/lacking for the rest of our life together.

As y'all may already know, people in monogamous relationships who have just realized they're bisexual is the largest single category of Folks Who Send Me Emails. And while I have occasionally been snarky about it, I do genuinely understand that this is a really fucking challenging position in which to find yourself (make a Kama Sutra joke and just see how fast I will smack you down). Here is this person who you love more than anything, this person with whom you want to wake up and pay the cable bill and make spaghetti and go bowling for the entire rest of your life, and all of a sudden this heretofore-unsuspected side of your libido rears its ugly head, and suddenly you're wondering whether your One and Only can really give you everything you need. That is brutal, and scary. And I don't want to minimize its impact for anyone currently struggling with it.

But I also want to say, since so many people seem to be dealing with this lately (perhaps because we're all more aware of and comfortable with bisexuality than our counterparts 25 or even ten years ago), that I think when you get right down to the secret squishy heart of this issue, it is actually terribly simple. You have to decide whether, by staying with your lover, you're gaining more than you're giving up.

You, lovely Letter Writer (may I call you Lettie?), are coming at this from a slightly different angle than I normally hear about; you are already bi-identified, instead of a nominally straight chick who is suddenly lusting after ladies. That is going to potentially make this a teeny tiny bit easier for you to navigate, because you won't have to deal with quite so much ?holy shit what will people think when they find out?? Still, the basic issue is the same. You don't have to re-label and reorganize your sexual identity, but you have to make some big, potentially gut-wrenching decisions.

First of all, I want to put your hot boy-on-boy brain-porn off to one side while we talk about this, because it's not really the salient point here. You're right that everyone fantasizes, and some people can only (ever!) climax when they're focusing on their favorite fantasy scenario, but the Thing that turns you on the most when you're allllllllmost there is not necessarily the Thing you actually want in real life. Some dykes think about dudes, some gay guys think about ladies, some totally vanilla folks think about getting smacked with a riding crop, and one chick in North Dakota thinks about Ronald McDonald for reasons she still hasn't been able to explain to herself. It could be relevant, if you're wishing you were in the middle of a sweaty dude-sandwich instead of in bed with your girlfriend, but on its own it doesn't tell us much.

What's more important is that you're thinking about dudes even when you're not in the zone, and it's causing you to question whether you want to marry your lady. So this is where I suggest, as I always do, that what you really have to ponder is not ?how badly do I want to get some wang?? but ?how committed am I to my partner?? Long-term monogamy is not for the faint of heart, but for the right person, you should be able to make the sacrifice gladly ? I don't mean easily, I mean with joy even when it's difficult. Look, Lettie, real talk: sometimes I wish I had slutted it up a little more before I got together with my fiancee. Sometimes I regret my lack of crazy random hook-up stories, just like you regret the lack of penis in your past. But I know that the person I'm with now is the person I want to be with for the rest of my life, and that is worth giving up on every other possibility to focus on this one, this one that is right.

There is this terrifying and hurtful myth that, when you meet the perfect partner, The One, your super special soulmate who likes to cook your favorite food and can find your G-spot blindfolded, you will immediately and forever stop wanting to have sex with other people. This is not even remotely true, but it causes an insane number of problems by convincing you that the moment you get an itch in your panties for somebody new, your relationship is doomed. In reality, the only thing that dooms your relationship is when you decide that she's not the one for you ? that you don't love her enough to make all the rest of it, from not fucking boys to picking up her dirty socks when she leaves them on the floor, worthwhile. Being bisexual, though it adds another dimension to the wanting-to-have-sex-with-other-people dilemma, does not ? or at least should not ? make much of a difference in the outcome.

So this is the part where you have to make the tough choice, and by now you've probably noticed that I have not said one single goddamn thing that will help you with that process, because there's really nothing I can say. Everything hinges on the part that I don't know and can't tell you, which is: do you want to be with this woman forever? And are you willing to do what it takes to make that happen?

Just so we're clear, it's okay if the answer is ?no.? I'm not saying that you are a bad or weak person if you decide that you need to pack up your things. I won't be mad if it turns out that she's not the one for you, or you're not the one for her, or you're both too young to be making lifelong relationship choices, or whatever. Choosing the path that will make you happiest, and sticking to it even when it means hurting someone you care about, because you know it's better for you both in the long run, requires tremendous self-honesty as well as ovaries of steel. If that's what you have to do, I'm sorry, and my heart is with you. Things will get easier from here, and you're going to do fine.

But if you decide to stay with your lover ? if you throw yourself into this relationship with your whole heart/vagina and stick to it for the long haul ? then perhaps I can offer you some words of wisdom that will help you through the rough patches: seriously, dudes are not all that great.

I have a sister-in-law (my husband's brother's wife) who I love to pieces. She is the sister I never had. We are two soldiers in the neverending fight against our mother-in-law. Everything is love, happiness, sunshine, except ... her mother is a lesbian who lives with her long-term girlfriend. Still, you ask, where is the problem?

SIL has mentioned in passing a couple times that she believes this "sets a bad example" for my niece and nephew, because, you know, homosexuality is ?bad.? Her husband agrees. In these few instances, I have felt deeply uncomfortable with her comments, especially when she says these things in front of her children (one of whom is in high school, so we're not dealing with babies here). Despite my disapproval, I think her relationship with her mother is none of my damn business, right? She has not asked me for advice or come to me with concerns. She seems to think this is common sense and that I must agree with her.

Also, my brother-in-law is somewhat volatile and is easily offended or angered. I would hate to cause a rift between my husband (totally pro-LGBTQ, by the way) and his considerably more conservative brother on behalf of a woman I've never met. (If, for example, one of my future kids turned out to be LGBTQ of any sort, I'd cut a bitch who dared say that kind of thing at a family gathering. Though I'm sure that's easy for me to say from this safe, privileged, hypothetical distance. Does that make me a hypocrite?)

Her kids do spend time with SIL's mother, but I know it's with the understanding that her "lifestyle" is "bad." I am tempted to pull my niece aside and tell her that there is nothing wrong with homosexuality, but again, is that totally inappropriate and not at all my place? Is it inappropriate to NOT say anything? She?s a smart kid, but I don?t want to put her in an awkward position. Do I wait until she's an adult? Do I continue to keep my mouth shut? Do I say something just to my SIL? Do I passive-aggressively mention every gay or lesbian friend I have at any opportunity to imply that I'm not on board the Anti-Gay Express? I am naturally non-confrontational, so the prospect of a big family argument scares the bejeezus out of me.

Help me, a Queer Chick! What is the right thing to do?

Ugh, there is such a huge part of me that wants to be like ?stop being friends with your awful homophobic sister-in-law.? It's really weird to me when people talk about how such-and-such person is great and wonderful and sweet and awesome and oh there's just this tiny problem where they haven't even met me but they already hate me. I don't want to hear about how she makes the best vegan cupcakes and gets all your most obscure Buffy references; if she hates the gays, then she is Not Cool and should not be invited to your birthday party.

Okay, but I recognize that I'm being unreasonable. People are flawed and messed up, and having one terrible character trait does not necessarily cancel out all the virtues that make you enjoy someone's company. I myself probably have at least one friend who is some kind of intensely crazy bigot in a way that I don't even know about because it's never come up. If you're not the target of the irrational disgust, it can be awfully easy to overlook for the sake of preserving your friendship. Plus, even if you did tell her to take her homophobia and shove it, she'd still be married to your husband's brother, so it's not like you could avoid her forever. And it's probably better for your niece and nephew if their parents remain on speaking terms with their awesome, queer-friendly aunt and uncle. ESPECIALLY if one of them turns out to be queer, because that shit is going to be rough, but even if they're straight it would be nice for them to have at least one familial influence who is not a great big juicebox.

So what's a non-confrontational chick to do? Well, no matter how much you love your sister-in-law and fear conflict, I think you are doing yourself and your niece and nephew (as well as your hypothetical future queer offspring) a disservice if you let her slide completely. I'm not saying you should throw your iced coffee in her face the next time she makes a disparaging comment about her mother (although you totally can, I'm not gonna judge), but you need to let her know that on this issue, she does not have a sympathetic ear from you.

When she mentions her mother in a way that makes it clear she disapproves of lesbians en masse, I want you to remain perfectly calm and say, in the most neutral tone of voice you possess, ?I don't know about that. My friend Julie is gay, and she's awesome.? (Feel free to name an actual person, if you do not have a gay friend named Julie.) Then ? this is key ? change the subject immediately. You are not trying to start a fight; you are not trying to win her over; you are simply letting her know, politely but firmly, where you stand. If she tries to pursue the subject, just laugh it off ? ?I don't feel like arguing on such a nice day! Want to take the kids to the park??

You may have to do this more than once before it sinks in, but I doubt you'll have to do it more than two or three times. Again, since your priority is maintaining a positive relationship with your sister-in-law, you have to resist the urge to press the point, to tell her about all the awesome queers in your life, to make a compelling case for human rights and social justice and RuPaul and fisting. I guarantee you that if her own mother couldn't bring her around, you're not gonna be able to do it either, and the more you try the more you'll damage your friendship. All you can do is continue to make it clear that you love her, you respect her, but on this topic you'll have to agree to disagree.

I am a 27-year-old queer lady. My best friend is an ex-girlfriend. We dated for several years and were engaged at one point. After the initial post-breakup awkwardness, we remained friends. We live in separate states but email near-daily and visit one another a couple times a year. We've each dated since the breakup and don't have any residual feelings for each other. Our relationship is essentially the same as any other best friend pair, except that we used to date. I never really thought this was weirder than anything else humans do, but lately I've heard people say some things (including in a former column of yours!) that make me wonder if I missed the consensus statement issued by the Strategies of Lesbianism Convention wherein it was decided that girls who are friends with ex-girlfriends are automatically off-limits creepers?

Do I have to choose between my best friend and any hope of a successful future love life? Is it a major turn-off to learn that a woman is best friends with someone she used to bone? Is there a way I need to be telling people about this that makes me sound less creepy? Is it inappropriate that I address holiday cards, etc. to my friend and her girlfriend? Please help me, A Queer Chick!

As much as it's clear to me that you folks would like one, there is no one-size-fits-all strategy for dealing with The Dreaded Ex-Turned-Bestie. Sometimes those friendships are creepy and codependent; sometimes they are positive and nurturing; and only you (or the women you date) can say for sure. If your friend is not constantly reminiscing about your relationship and bringing up how much she misses you ? if you're upward of 90% confident that you two have no lingering sexual tension ? then it's probably fine, rock on with your sweet selves.

The Ex-Turned-Bestie is really only a problem if it's interfering with your current relationships, and it sounds like you've both been getting laid left and right since your breakup, so I don't see why you'd be worrying about this. If a future girlfriend ever does express concerns, you'll have to figure out for yourself whether it's really a problem or whether she's just above-average insecure, and proceed accordingly. For the time being, however, why fix something that's not broken (or a domesticated animal which you want to prevent from reproducing)? I feel like you mostly wrote to me because you wanted an affirmation, which I am more than happy to provide (to anyone! Holler atcha girl if you need to be reminded that you are a beautiful special snowflake!), but yeah, you don't really have much of a problem here. Your friendship is 100% Queer Chick approved ? go forth and rejoice!

Previously: Pronouns, Unexpected Crushes, and the "Repressed Lesbian" Clich?.

Lindsay Miller knows everything (and is now on Twitter!). Do you have a question for A Queer Chick? (300-word max, please.)

Photo by?Anna Sedneva, via?Shutterstock

Source: http://thehairpin.com/2012/02/nagging-attractions-and-the-strategies-of-lesbianism-convention-slc

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